A myth I have always held to myself is that I am not smart, i.e. I am not good at school. This myth is dual-sided: I am smart, but not good at school and thus life, which would equal my intelligence low.

This myth has been held from my lack of study in school, little shortcomings here and there, and by having a relative with Huntington’s Disease, a degenerative brain disease my siblings always teased me about saying I would inherit it.

Being absent-minded, I forget things easily. In reality, while I am absent-minded, my brain processes things at such a high pace that I zip passed occurrences, sometimes deeming them unimportant, and forget these that which come back as a blip on my radar letting me know I am not smart. This may not make sense the first time around, but I am moving on. 

Within the last few weeks of this semester, workload has increased tenfold and I have logged countless hours in the library. Literally, logging 30+ the week before last, and last week logging too many for 2 days of classes. When I returned yesterday to campus, I was at the library within 20 minutes staying for the rest of the day. Point of the story: I know how to study now. I enjoy studying now (for studying). I always have enjoyed reading and learning, but now it pays off for me. 

Needless to say, this myth is essentially broken to the effect that I know I am smart. The Huntington’s still plagues my thoughts here and there, but in the now, I know I can get things done. It’s a glorious liberation.

1. fickleinstructions posted this